Country Singers Gifts

Willie Nelson's 80th Birthday.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Elvis Presley

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Supply was out of harps.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

Music from the moon.

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

Cowpunk

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

Dolly Parton