Country Music Singer Gifts

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

Towny Music Night.

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"It's bad, Doc. the voices in my head are singing country western."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Supply was out of harps.

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Down On the Farm

The Invention of Country Music.

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...

Music from the moon.

Cowpunk