Country Roads Humor Gifts

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Early American Think tank

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'Serves me right for frowning.'

A cow's bedside table.

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

That's one harmonious butt hole!

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

I'm a Smart-Cow!

The Assistant

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

'You've played Pooh sticks right?'

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

"We need any eggs?"

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"He's been like this ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

Look lively ladies! We have 2 milk poachers at 3 o'clock!