Country Roads Humor Pillows

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

Early American Think tank

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

A cow's bedside table.

The Assistant

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

"He's been like this ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Look lively ladies! We have 2 milk poachers at 3 o'clock!

'You've played Pooh sticks right?'

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

Sinking Cow

"We need any eggs?"