Country Comic Gifts

My mum was telling me they have some wild Christmas parties round here!

I fart more than that!

The Moo-Walk

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

Jim Carrey,

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

John Cleese.

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Spike Milligan

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

Woody Allen

Comedy course highlights fake nose

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Alan Carr

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

Dawn French.

A cow's bedside table.

'I'm a Fringe performer.'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.