Couchside Creative Gifts

"It's great for multicrastinating."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Couch and Potato

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

Home Working

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

Eventual Motion Machine

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

"I am a control freak."

A triathlon for the lazy and unfit.

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

"Have we scored yet?"

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

Captive Audience.