Couch Culture Fan Gifts

Couch and Potato

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

Emotional Baggage Handler

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Eventual Motion Machine

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

Marriage counselor: 'I say he's a couch po-tah-toe, and he says, couch po-taa-toe!'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."