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Couch and Potato

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

The Common Sutra.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"God, I love this show!"

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Emotional Baggage Handler

Eventual Motion Machine

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

Marriage counselor: 'I say he's a couch po-tah-toe, and he says, couch po-taa-toe!'