Couch Cinema Enthusiast Gifts

"I would suggest watching fewer box sets..."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

Couch and Potato

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Get a Life

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Eventual Motion Machine

Exercise vs Laxative.

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'I pushed the popcorn button but there isn't any in there.'

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

"Comfy?"

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

American Idle

'Don't worry... I specialise in false hope.'

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'