Couch Cinema Enthusiast Pillows

"I would suggest watching fewer box sets..."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Couch and Potato

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

The Common Sutra.

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

Get a Life

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

Eventual Motion Machine

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

'I pushed the popcorn button but there isn't any in there.'

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

"Comfy?"

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."

'I can't enjoy the stuff I steal because I set fire to it all.'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

American Idle

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

'Don't worry... I specialise in false hope.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'