Couch Referee Gifts

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

'The team in white are bound to win - look at the size of the other team!'

Shelly consults her basketball-time-to-real-time conversion chart.

"Can you put it on pause for a moment, Eric? I'd like to get a word in edgeways."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'