Couch Freedom Fighters Gifts

"You kids need to be more productive, so I decided to cut the cable."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Low-Energy Drinks

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Protest

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Binge Watch

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

'Ah, business as usual.'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Couch and Potato

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

Doves of peace trapped within the statue of liberty.

Weapens of Mass Instruction