Couch Executive Gifts

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

TV-Man

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Baby On Boardroom

Unconditional Loveseat

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

"I'm having trouble sleeping through board meetings."

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"When did this game get started?"

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

"Have we scored yet?"

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."