Couch Executive Gifts

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

TV-Man

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Baby On Boardroom

Unconditional Loveseat

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"I'm having trouble sleeping through board meetings."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"When did this game get started?"

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"Have we scored yet?"

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'