Couch Critics Gifts

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

"They should stand."

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

"There's the pay TV remote... the set top box remote... the TV remote... now where did I put the worth watching remote?"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

Couch and Potato

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."