Couch Critics Gifts

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

"They should stand."

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

"There's the pay TV remote... the set top box remote... the TV remote... now where did I put the worth watching remote?"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

Couch and Potato

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."