Couch Debate Enthusiast Gifts

"Should we watch the lighthearted workplace comedy or the dystopian workplace drama?"

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Couch and Potato

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"God, I love this show!"

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"I don't think this is doing me any good."

Emotional Baggage Handler

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'