Couch Confidante Gifts

'They raised the bar.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"Goal!"

Binge Watch

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

"I see a couch."

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

French suppers.

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

E-Z Livin'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

Staycation Photos

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'The best part about working from home is NOT working from home.'