Cat Couch Confidante Gifts

'I tried to relax and bond with the cat...He threw me out of the house.'

'Do you have any catsup?'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Big screen TV.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

Exercise vs Laxative.

"There's the remote!"

"Comfy?"

"It doesn't matter. They give us the same food no matter where we are."

Cat steals food from owner who is distracted by feeding the dog.

"Fetch, Millennia. ... Or don’t fetch. Either way, you’re perfect!"

He suspected the cat was cheating.

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"...I'll just take the day off."

Poker at Docs.

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

'Here's another one that'll give you a big laugh.'

'I've been talking to my imaginary friend Carlos about this, and he thinks you're the wrong doctor to treat my delusional syndrome.'

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

The cat got his owner's tongue, and is letting him know why.

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

'Bad Day?'

"I think I just chased the wrong squirrel."