Couch Collector Gifts

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Cinzia Baffi's Time-And-Temp Chair

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

"Our cautions to the wind dear?.. I said let's throw our CAUTIONS to the wind."

Sale. We need something that will meet our growing backsides.

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

'Hope you like the oversized furniture. It helps me feel young.'

'I've been talking to my imaginary friend Carlos about this, and he thinks you're the wrong doctor to treat my delusional syndrome.'

False alarm; chair salesman

Recliner Throne: For Work and Relaxation

'Plus, you get to keep any change you happen to find under the cushions.'

'There's only one chair. It's about to get ugly ladies.'

'I tell you what, it's much more comfortable with a cushion...'

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

"A few more decorative pillow and I won't have to make the bed."

"Fox again! C'mon man. Try the History Channel for once. Educate yourself dude."

"It's a third off the price actually, Bert."

"Don't worry, it's her birthday present."

We have reason to believe you have an unlicenced sofa...

Someone admiring a bright shoe through binoculars.