Cost-cutting Crusaders Gifts

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

The Affordable Shredder

"Global warming, income inequalities, protests and COVID-19. Get up and do something! Help out already, now!!!"

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

'Because of cost cuts, your computer and telephone got removed. Just make a 'Click-Click' noise for typing, 'Bzzt-Bzzt' for printing and 'Ring-Ring' for incoming calls.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."

Been Injured In An Accident That Wasn't Your Fault! Call...Wilbur & Ohnson.

"We've managed to outsource training to a company that will say 'yes sir,no sir' for 20% less."

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

"In order to cut costs we are no longer animating our presentations..."

"Making money's eve more of a kick when no one else is."

"Says he can't afford the hospital's parking fees!"

'Now there's a perfect example of something that's not cost effective. Fire him!'

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

Energy bills rise

Smelling Salts at the Petrol Station.

What everyone wants for Christmas 2022

Snell & Dunberg: Attorneys at Law - Thank You Litigious Society

"Go away. I haven't had an accident that wasn't my fault in the last three years."

'We would save even more money if we delivered mail ONLY on Saturdays...'