Cost-cutting Crusaders T-Shirts

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"Global warming, income inequalities, protests and COVID-19. Get up and do something! Help out already, now!!!"

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

The Affordable Shredder

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'Because of cost cuts, your computer and telephone got removed. Just make a 'Click-Click' noise for typing, 'Bzzt-Bzzt' for printing and 'Ring-Ring' for incoming calls.'

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

Been Injured In An Accident That Wasn't Your Fault! Call...Wilbur & Ohnson.

"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

"We've managed to outsource training to a company that will say 'yes sir,no sir' for 20% less."

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

"In order to cut costs we are no longer animating our presentations..."

"Making money's eve more of a kick when no one else is."

Smelling Salts at the Petrol Station.

'Now there's a perfect example of something that's not cost effective. Fire him!'

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

Energy bills rise

"Says he can't afford the hospital's parking fees!"

What everyone wants for Christmas 2022

"Go away. I haven't had an accident that wasn't my fault in the last three years."

Snell & Dunberg: Attorneys at Law - Thank You Litigious Society