Cost-cutting Crusader T-Shirts

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

"In order to cut costs we are no longer animating our presentations..."

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

Energy bills rise

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

Gas Pump Robbery

'We would save even more money if we delivered mail ONLY on Saturdays...'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

The Affordable Shredder

"Global warming, income inequalities, protests and COVID-19. Get up and do something! Help out already, now!!!"

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

"Wow! Even from space the Italian mountain of debt is visible!"

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

The European Union aims to eradicate tax evasion.

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

'Because of cost cuts, your computer and telephone got removed. Just make a 'Click-Click' noise for typing, 'Bzzt-Bzzt' for printing and 'Ring-Ring' for incoming calls.'

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

'Excellent meeting. I loved the quick fixes, the simple solutions, and the easy answers.'

"One day this will all be outsourced."

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

"We've managed to outsource training to a company that will say 'yes sir,no sir' for 20% less."

Cutting the cost of assisted living facilities

Smelling Salts at the Petrol Station.

"If your insurance doesn't cover it, there's always the lottery."