Budget Crusaders Gifts

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I must warn you that when I come to hammer out the budget details, I do not fool around.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

Little Taxes.

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

Rich react to higher taxes.

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"I think I see the problem..."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"The cuts have made things even worse...It's the worst part of the job. Having to spend so much time with people at the very end of the tether...people with no hope, no optimism for the future, people in a state of despair!"

Your Tax $ At Peacekeeping.

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

"In order to cut costs we are no longer animating our presentations..."

"Making money's eve more of a kick when no one else is."

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'