Budget Battle Survivor Gifts

"The endless string of budget cuts are making things impossible. It's the worst part of this job. Having to spread so much time with people at the very end of their tether...people with no hope, no optimism for the future...people in a state of despair! A

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

You're fortunate you have a cubicle. Due to cutbacks, my boss makes us wear horse blinders.

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

White House Garage Sale.

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'Wait a minute....!

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

'I'm sorry, sir, but there is a 25 surcharge to use the lavatory,'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

"Sometimes I get the crazy feeling that he blames us for the budget overrun."