Budgeting Survivor Gifts

You're fortunate you have a cubicle. Due to cutbacks, my boss makes us wear horse blinders.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Late/Too Late.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Cafe Burns.

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'