Budgeting Warrior Gifts

'The worst pain I've experienced since my second visit is when I received your bill for the first visit.'

"This medication may interact with paying your rent and being able to afford cable."

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

"He's something new. Our phone bill now has a monthly stub perforation fee."

Economic Indicators - I'll tell you another economic indicator - my wallet is empty.

'We've gone way over our credit limit...I want a v-chip to block the home shopping channel!'

You Can Afford 8 Less Products Each Week

"When I opened the cupboard it was full of junk food. When I opened the mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm afraid to open the checkbook."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Investing your savings

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

Blowing dust off an order book.

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"