Budget Cut Survivor Gifts

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"Budget cuts...turns out you were the only one around here who ever did anything."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

White House Garage Sale.

You're fortunate you have a cubicle. Due to cutbacks, my boss makes us wear horse blinders.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

Little Taxes.

"There have been a few cutbacks in the anesthesiology department."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

'Due to budget cuts, the Finance Department says after you finish the resection can you fix the tap?'

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

'Here's your 'Christmas Festive Fayre' menu...everything is off except the beans.'

"The cuts have made things even worse...It's the worst part of the job. Having to spend so much time with people at the very end of the tether...people with no hope, no optimism for the future, people in a state of despair!"

'I need another raise so I can pay for the car that I bought to celebrate my last raise.'

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

"Nobody likes closing libraries but with all the cuts we don't have any choice!"

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"