Budget Cuts Gifts

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

The Affordable Shredder

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

Oil shock.

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

"They're spelt differently!"

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

"Hang the expense, Potter. If you need another pencil, order it."

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."