Budget Cutback Curious Gifts

'Here's your 'Christmas Festive Fayre' menu...everything is off except the beans.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Footing The Bill

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"There have been a few cutbacks in the anesthesiology department."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"We need to be extra careful about expenditure...and I thought we could save a but by having the Xmas, New Year and redundancy parties at the same time!"

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

'Due to budget cuts, the Finance Department says after you finish the resection can you fix the tap?'

"We're working on it - but first we have to know what to call it!"

The New Abnormal

How was your summer, Miss Tully? Lousy. The budget stinks so they're cutting bus routes. I might lose my job! Oh, no. That's terrible. I might have to walk to school.

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

"Nobody likes closing libraries but with all the cuts we don't have any choice!"

"Budget cuts...turns out you were the only one around here who ever did anything."

If Medicare-for-All Were a War, No One Would Ask: How Do We Pay for It?

"Words from the wise, Grandson, live to be 100, but never get sick, old or retire!"

'There's no money to provide 'Care in the Community'...but we have just enough to move him into the carpark!'

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. Your payment isn't all that substantial, sir, when you consider how much of it will be wasted.

How America Was Re-Won

"And Boris caims all his spending plans will be financed by winnings on investing £1000 a week in Eurolottery tickets..."

Look thru the hole to see budget savings: 'I don't see anything in there...'

Road to nowhere, made possible by surplus highway funds.

Fiscal Hypochondria

'Jones, how about a moratorium on keeping up? Our budget is a bit tight this year.'

Why should I let you leave work, Rudy. Because my shift's over. I've calculated it. Turns out you spend 12.2% of your day mopping. That means in just one month, I pay you more to mop than the price of one Roomba. The Roomba robot would work 24 hours a day if I told it to. Would like a 12.2% pay cut, of shall I rename thee. "Roomba Park"? Goodnight, Scrooge.