Budget Battle Veteran Gifts

"The cuts have made things even worse...It's the worst part of the job. Having to spend so much time with people at the very end of the tether...people with no hope, no optimism for the future, people in a state of despair!"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"Sometimes I get the crazy feeling that he blames us for the budget overrun."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

Little Taxes.

Student Debt

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'On my salary, microeconomics is all I can afford.'

'Am I an additional cost or an incidental expense?'

SOARING BILL

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'