Cost-cutter Aficionado Gifts

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'It's so expensive because it doesn't do as much as other computers and it's harder to use.'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

How to do without

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go...we've just sourced somebody in Mumbai who's 34% better at being you for 29% less!'

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"One day this will all be outsourced."