Cost-cutting Connoisseurs Gifts

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

A Quiet Rebuke.

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

The Affordable Shredder

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

How to do without

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

'Look, mom...a bargain!'

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

"One day this will all be outsourced."

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

"The good news is we're going paperless. The bad news is it's the employee's bathrooms."

Pay Hospital Bill Here

"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."

Cutting the cost of assisted living facilities

"We've managed to outsource training to a company that will say 'yes sir,no sir' for 20% less."

'Now there's a perfect example of something that's not cost effective. Fire him!'