Quirky Cost-cutters Gifts

"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

The Affordable Shredder

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"There have been a few cutbacks in the anesthesiology department."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

How to do without

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"This family needs to be more responsible with our finances. A fool and his money are soon parted."

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

"One day this will all be outsourced."

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

"The good news is we're going paperless. The bad news is it's the employee's bathrooms."

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

Cutting the cost of assisted living facilities