Cost-cutting Aficionado Gifts

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff who we employed to improve efficiency."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

Desk bins: Errors of Commission/ Errors of Omission/ Innovative Combinations of Both

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

How to do without

"Goodbye, masked consultant. And thanks for reducing our inefficiencies."

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?'

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

'I really lose patience with people who moan all the time about their supposed 'workloads'.'

"One day this will all be outsourced."

'I need $50.' - '$40? What do you need $30 for?'

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

"The good news is we're going paperless. The bad news is it's the employee's bathrooms."

Low oil prices.