Cosmopolitan T-Shirts

Spontaneous Kombucha

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Mission Kinda Accomplished

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'I think we lost track of time. Our wives put out a missing persons report out on us, and half the state is looking for us.'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Look at those arms! I was born to ride a Harley Davidson!'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

Cheesie Rider

Dairy Devil

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"Lately, I've thinking about getting a motorcycle ... "

Biker chopper shopper

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

Road Buddies

"You had me at hell."

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

Uneasy Rider

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

Family Sidecar

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'