Modern Correspondent T-Shirts

He's a man of few words and many emails.

'Dear facebook friend.'

Press Freedom

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Wedding Selfie

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"I will answer anything but questions."

Daily Routine

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

If Watergate Happened Now the Press Would Be Too Busy Reporting on Tweets

Early Man Late Man

Goodnight Social Media.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

ISIS needle in a haystack.

"We expect Putin any minute now..."

Victims of War

US Media

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

Blues for now.

Iraq War Correspondency on a Budget

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

Office of the PR of the United States

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

The House Always Wins

Burning the Other

Our Troubled Chowders

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"