Cosmic Historian Gifts

Neil Armstrong: That's One. . . Giant. . . Man.

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'But what is the universe for?'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Chiller Theatre

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

God Sneezes Out Creation

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Zenemies.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

65 Million Years Ago

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

The Origins of Everything

How life on Earth really got its start.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

Coronavirus

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.