Cosmic Contemplator T-Shirts

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life than unlocking the mysteries of the universe."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Pay no attention. It's his way of telling us he needs a lot of space."

"I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets."

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Shucks... The immensity of the universe doesn't make me feel small.'

Negative Space

Apocalipsis

'I just can't keep up with the conversations in deep space.'

'Well, I don't WANT to become one with any Universe that HE'S one with!'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Earth seen from Space (restricted view).

"He keeps saying 'universe' then 'cosmos'... what is what, for heaven's sake?"

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

I think we need to come to terms with the fact that our God is a cr**py God!

Warning: This planet may not be suitable for viewing by some angels.

"All mine says is that I often give in to feelings of envy and that I should appreciate what I have. But your horoscope is better."

'I didn't bother to bring my sign today -- What's the use?'

'Attaining harmony with the universe is a gradual process. You need to start with a cease-fire.'

"Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise."

Exam grade F. Yeah, this planetarium really makes me feel insignificant.

Give them another eclipse. The last one actually made them quite for a few minutes!

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

"My husband adheres to the big-bang theory of creation."

Sisyphus during Covid

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Of course, in cosmic years, we're still quite young."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."