Cosmic Communicator Gifts

"Be prepared to encounter cultural references that we're just not going to get."

Message in a bottle.

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

"We sent a message to any extraterrestrial beings in deep space. It was picked up by an observatory in Great Britain. They didn't understand it."

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

'Hi, Mom!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Where a family should point to when it needs help.

"The aliens asked about music, too! With my help, they were able to reconstruct the most magical instrument on Earth!"

"The good news is that we contacted Alpha Centauri. The bad news is they're all telemarketers!"

"The good news is, our repeated electronic messages into space have received a response. The bad news is, they've put us on their 'do not call' list."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Boptimism

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"We evolved from asteroids"

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The next wave

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."