Cosmic Communicator Pillows

"Be prepared to encounter cultural references that we're just not going to get."

Message in a bottle.

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

"We sent a message to any extraterrestrial beings in deep space. It was picked up by an observatory in Great Britain. They didn't understand it."

'Hi, Mom!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Where a family should point to when it needs help.

"The aliens asked about music, too! With my help, they were able to reconstruct the most magical instrument on Earth!"

"The good news is that we contacted Alpha Centauri. The bad news is they're all telemarketers!"

Boptimism

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

"We evolved from asteroids"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

The next wave

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

'What's the matter with them? I thought you said you'd been here before.'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

"Great! Just have your aliens get in touch with my aliens!"