Celestial Communicator Pillows

'It's For You.'

Wolf Email to the Moon

'OMG!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Amy, you won't believe what it's like up here... any messages?'

Halo.

'How can tweeting be hard for someone so bird-like?'

"I'm dead, but it's a good dead."

"A million prayers a day with not a single self-addressed stamped envelope. And they wonder why there's never an answer."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

Local News in Heaven

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"I'll check and see if he's available."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

Double bass in space

Oops! Maybe we better make the chicken first.

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"So much for eternal rest."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'Sometimes I think my wife's on another planet.'

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'