Galactic Communicator Pillows

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"You don't whisper anymore."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Modern romance'

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"The etchings are in the library."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

Stop Human Footing