Global Communicator Pillows

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

Orator translates in many languages.

"The internet really does bring the world into your home. I spend hours talking to tech reps in India!"

'Message from our Indian office.'

'Due to an unusually high volume of calls, we've outsourced our answering service to operators who speak in tagalog.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

The interested bystanders.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

Direct Marketing...

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"We evolved from asteroids"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

World Production.

Peace Locked in a Cage

Barack Obama, Angela Merkel and David Cameron are ecstatic about the possibility of a free trade agreement between the U.S. and the European Union.

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Coronavirus world

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Hypocrisy about poverty