Interstellar Communicator Gifts

"It's a SETI transmission from Earth. Pretend we're not home."

How Glaciations Begin

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

'What's the matter with them? I thought you said you'd been here before.'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

'Sometimes I think my wife's on another planet.'

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

"Great! Just have your aliens get in touch with my aliens!"

Universe Challenge

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

'What's the area code up here?'

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

'A bathroom!!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

Bassoon musical instrument.

"Is there anybody there?"

"The aliens asked about music, too! With my help, they were able to reconstruct the most magical instrument on Earth!"

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

'OMG!'

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

'Hi, Mom!'

'Well, yes, the fine print is in Arabic, but it's a wonderful language.'

'It's For You.'

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

Message in a bottle.

'We just received an obscene radio message from planet Sigma Epsilon Khi.'

"We sent a message to any extraterrestrial beings in deep space. It was picked up by an observatory in Great Britain. They didn't understand it."