Interstellar Communicator Gifts

"It's a SETI transmission from Earth. Pretend we're not home."

How Glaciations Begin

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

'What's the matter with them? I thought you said you'd been here before.'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

"Great! Just have your aliens get in touch with my aliens!"

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

'Sometimes I think my wife's on another planet.'

Soon The Moon Will Have Cellphone Reception Better Than That One Part Of Your Commute

Universe Challenge

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'What's the area code up here?'

'A bathroom!!'

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

For several years, intelligent beings from outer space have been circling earth. They've tried to make contact but haven't been able to get through corporate phone trees, bad cell reception, clogged voicemail boxes, but, after years of cold-calling numbers, a breakthrough! Hello, thank you for calling. Hello! This is Zork. Hello Zork. How may I help you? I am from another galaxy. I'm making first contact. Wonderful. Wherever you're from, we can work with you. Let's start with your zip code. My z

Bassoon musical instrument.

"The aliens asked about music, too! With my help, they were able to reconstruct the most magical instrument on Earth!"

"Is there anybody there?"

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

Pets. Pets are like toys, only more interactive.

'OMG!'

'Hi, Mom!'

'Well, yes, the fine print is in Arabic, but it's a wonderful language.'

'It's a comet . . . It's a big rock on your head.'

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

'It's For You.'

Message in a bottle.

'We just received an obscene radio message from planet Sigma Epsilon Khi.'