Cosmetic Dentist Gifts

"So whaddya think?"

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"I'm thinking about getting my teeth capped."

'Did you say, 'Whitened and pointed'?'

'I guess I'll have to take his word for it.'

Trust me. At 800 lumens, they're bright enough.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Do you think I'm sixty?

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Woman applying makeup