Cosmetic Surgeons Gifts

'...I think we can do something with that chin as well.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

"Pulling out the thorn was easy. What I'm most proud of is the hair transplant."

Liposuction Drive Thru

'I wouldn't be surprised if he blows his brains out.'

'Yes, that's our founder. He posed for that on his 80th birthday.'

The tuck stops here.

'Before' 'After' - witch at plastic surgeon.

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

Camel Visits the Plastic Surgeon

Body Building

"Can you make me into a swan?"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Do you think I'm sixty?

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'