Cosmetic Dentist Pillows

"So whaddya think?"

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"I'm thinking about getting my teeth capped."

'Did you say, 'Whitened and pointed'?'

'I guess I'll have to take his word for it.'

Trust me. At 800 lumens, they're bright enough.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

What price beauty?

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Woman applying makeup

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.