Cosmetic Dentistry Pillows

'How much extra would it cost to get my tooth whitened?'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"I don't like your application."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

Have you got your make up on yet?

Do you think I'm sixty?

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."