Cosmetic Dentistry Pillows

'How much extra would it cost to get my tooth whitened?'

"I'm thinking of having my tooth capped."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"I don't like your application."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Do you think I'm sixty?