Corporate Novice Gifts

Fresh out of school, new hire Justin Huffenberger is temporarily stunned and disoriented by the light at the end of the university tunnel.

"First time pruning?"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

Financial Services For Lawyers...Beginner's Class...

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Admit it, you're lost!"

"Triple whammy."

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

My First Boat

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

"Beginner's luck."

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

"What's my collar size?"

"Here's a good spot, Hon."

“It’s ok to leave the lid up at home but not on a submarine.”

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Stuff Broken

The not-so-living wall

Bad Violinist.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

'Hey, this is nice! You should see my starter cave!'

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

Freshman Ryan Brenneman was having a tough time acclimating to life away from home.

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?

Set Sail

You're not supposed to lob the rock!