Corporate Holiday Party Gifts

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Yes-dog.

'We can't merge again. Our letterhead already takes up the entire page.'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

Bo're'droom

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

Thesaurus Company

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

Pizza time.

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

"At least we're consistent ... "

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

How to read the dress code?

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

"All those in favor of adjourning for treats, raise your hands?"

'I apologize for sending out the meeting memo late. Let me summarize by saying that the entire board is being replaced starting tomorrow.'