Office Christmas Party Gifts

There's always one idiot at the staff Christmas party who goes too far. If you work for yourself, that would be you.

'Well, why didn't you say you wanted the office to be functional?'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'It's amazing how big your office feels when you go paperless.'

"All those in favor of adjourning for treats, raise your hands?"

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

'When I say jump, Hayes, I don't want you to just ask 'How high?' ... I want you to show me!'

'So do I take it that all things considered and after a thorough review of all the other demands upon your time you would rather not volunteer to plan the office Xmas party this year?'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

'I can't help feeling the office party ain't what it was, Fred!'

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

'If you think the elevator ride was rough, wait till the office Christmas party.'

"Ha, ha... The story of your "small accident" was a big hit at the hospital's Christmas party!"

"I've managed to arrange cover while you're on holiday. Janet has cancelled her honeymoon and John will probably be able to have his operation next year. You just go off and enjoy yourself."

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"